I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
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On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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