when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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