tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
