so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
