That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
