You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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