Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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