My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
