Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
