So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i now understand why vodka
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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