i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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