Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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