I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
