yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
