I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
