Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
