In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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