love makes seman taste better
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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