I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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