when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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