I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
