I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
