How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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