I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just invented taco cereal.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
