Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
