Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
