are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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