evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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