yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have feelings that need drinking.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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