is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
