STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
