O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
