On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
