i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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