If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm having to shit out rocks
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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