Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
