Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
