he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
