so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize