why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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