operation harelip BJ is a go
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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