I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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