It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
