Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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