it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
