I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize