the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
