If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
