nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
