just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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