I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
