is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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