so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
