i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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