Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
