my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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