I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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