I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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