He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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