Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
