Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
