I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
